Welcome to the Bipolar Poetry Reading!

From: Michelle Dover
Subject: Song Lyrics

Now there's a name for my affliction
And its spelled with letters you don't understand
And it didn't change the face of me
Just my definition
And yet you ran
yet you ran
I know it must be hard for you
to think of me the same way
to think I'm still the same person
But you hide your fear in some kind of choice
and stand on the pulpit slamming your fist
at all my unexplainables
I know it's hard to be with things you don't understand
But I'm in this new territory with you
Think what it must be like to be me ....
I watch it just like you do ...
and I don't understand any better
something can rise up like lava from deep within me
and there's not a thing I can do to hold it back
you're the one in the burning ash
But I'm the heart of the fire
You can turn your back and get away
But I can only wipe my brow and perspire
Now there's a way to manage my tempest
and it's a forever thing ....
it's as much a part of me as my arms or my legs
It's a part of my picture and a part of our past
and I never imagined you'd bow out
I took for granted our lifetime would last
Now I know how I must have looked to you
And I know how that must have hurt
But there wasn't a thing you could do
There was no storm warning ... no alert
And there's no way for me to stop this thing ....
Even when I swallow my little pill
It was there when my baby eyes teared in sudden light
and it's with me still ...
But I never imagined I'd lose you
I thought you'd be right by my side
I always thought you'd hold my hand 
And yet you ran ...
yet you ran ....
And so you believe that I've got a grandiose imagination
And that this has come from another book
You believe that it's my latest excuse for behavior
And one more melodrama was all it took
At times I was deep black, at times I was the brightest white
But I've fallen off the edge and come back
and now I live in this place of grey
and maybe you miss my life of extremes
because it gives you nothing to do ... 
forces you to look too closely at you
because now there's a name for my affliction
and it's spelled with letters you don't understand
so you throw your hands into the air and sigh
and roll your eyes with your pompous disgust
and you think it just can't touch you
if you let go of the two of us ....
and I understand your need to free yourself of me
and all my complications
my high-maintenance temperament
my moods and altercations
and I let you go because there's nothing I can do
this beast can be a scary mystery
and the monster lives inside of me ... 
he was there all the time and you were with me then
Unabashed, unafraid, tickled by the heat of my fire
seeing me by the light of the flame
but now there's a name for my affliction
and that wasn't a part of the plan
you could go on blaming me
but now you're forced to understand
and so you ran ....
you ran ....


copyright, 1997

Tracey
Subject: Response to request for poetry on Phoenix web page- answer to Elizabeth Wurtzel

Prozac Nation......makes me feel..........

connect with the feeling
the being inside your head
the barrier between you and the world
the deep knowing that what you feel 
is pretend

rationalise, despair
desperation, self support 
circles in your head
At least you can cry

what if you never knew 
you were the best little girl in the world
that you believed they were right
until you had no feelings at all?
What then?

What if you couldn't say to your dad 
that you hate him
what if you were more concerned 
about his feelings than your own?
Is this love?

Nobody understands you
nobody ever will
and when you know that they won't
then you are truly alone

you can only impress yourself
and if in impressing yourself 
you lead your best life
this is freedom
freedom to be human 

Matthew Greenwell

just had to add my bit in here too, here's two		


Lost in a world most unkind
Searching only for peace of mind
By yourself you stand alone 
You can't make it on your own
You need someone to cling to
Someone with which to live life through
Will they ever come to you
Perhaps they're gone and you never knew
Maybe they're right there where you are
Holding on to that shooting star

Hello goodbye hello again
Start it over at the end
Goes the same no matter how it goes
How it goes everyone knows
Beating down against my sanity
No one understands the full calamity
Lies set me at ease
Truth fills me with disease
How do you believe in someone else
when you can't even trust yourself
Why do I have to be this way
Nothing left to do or say
Hate myself for what I do
Want to be there nowhere with you
In our circles we both run
Like a planet around a sun
It hurts so much now
I want it to stop but how
Maybe I just like the pain
Maybe there is somethig left to gain
Had I a heart it would be lost again
Starting over yet again at the end

hypomania:
collecting shells
and watching the red blaze break up on the chill white horizon.
she could have talked forever
and I would have listened with the rest of my lives.

depression:
it goes right to the bone,
this absence of something I have no name for,
this need for something I am afraid to accept.

stability:
i have been such a fool
and sometimes I wonder whether now is the time
to beat this illness.