Welcome to the Bipolar Poetry Reading!

From: Cyn

Words have never come easily to me...
Usually, when I put pen to paper...
images appear...
swirling..moving..dancing in the night...
black black ink on a page of white....
demons put to rest there...
creatures taking flight...
lovers, in a tangled nest here...
Fanciful delight...
Images come more swiftly; the longer I am here....

Pounding..
Can't stop the damn pounding..

Every word makes my head ache..
Thoughts and memories resounding..

Cut a hole, just a pin prick really..
Let it all sift away, drift away..
All is quiet, empty silence..
Not one thought will stay..

Didn't plan for it to end..
Not this way..
Just wanted peace for awhile...
Didn't realize forever meant just that..
Something you can never take back..
Silence..
Can't stop the damn Silence...

Washed up on the shore
stranded 
burning in the sun
alone
layers of an old life
slowly peeling away
desperate to get up and RUN!
But I just lay there with the rush of the tide
waiting for the seagulls to notice me
come to me
recycle me
strip my bones clean
bare and brittle
a treasure for 
some unknowing tourist to claim
recycled for the greater good
finally accepted

No more highs 
no more lows
medicated 
to 
the point of conformity
all who knew me then 
now can find no trace of me
I no longer take up pen 
to
appease my muse
I wander in a 
daze
wonder what's the use
I do not cry or laugh too much
almost normal, almost right
no friend of the morning 
no lover of the night
I must now do my duty for society
trying not to think of what is lost to me..........................

Up down, turn around; move from side to side
Dancing with myself here
bitches night to ride
Running down darkened street's
blindly going nowhere
looking for excitement
numb from head to feet
Where's the light to guide me?
She's hidden from my sight
wondering what could be
I
fall
hard and fast
hitting bottom
drowning in the darkness
that I long ago embarrassed
rotting in a corner
of 
this 
god forsaken place

Broken glass
numb and bleeding

Paper peeling from the walls
reality receding
neighbors fighting in the halls

Then a rush of cold air
hits me 
In the face
I find that I am running
away, 
Away from this place

Mind is reeling
 feet are burning 
Pulse is speeding
heart is yearning 

I fall

My chest is tight
my body broken
my soul takes flight
Finally 
I am free

Jane Doe
is the name 
On the tag 
Placed 
on my toe

Howling growling 
pacing back and forth....
climbing walls,
walking halls,
tell me what its worth....
heart is pounding
pulse is rushing
I can feel it in my head,
screaming yelling,
my body covered in red......
Beat the drums !
shake the house !!
Smelling like you do
it is no wonder
I follow your every move
sweet and damp
subtle sex
Smells of the wood
I grew up in
in a past life
raw and wild
Sniffing under leafs and branches
I catch a whiff of you
just a fleeting sense
but enough
the chase is on
again
Ohhhhhhh
the 
smell
of 
you

Stiff
unstable
bored
unable
to
participate
with the ramblings 
of the sane
mundane
plain
still 
bored
dried
cement
cracked 
paint
stuck here in this place 
I don't belong
sitting on my hands
nodding my head
at
the babble that I hear
pretending 
unending
droning on and on
my poem is the same
plain
inept
no depth
I am almost gone
am almost changed
plastic smile upon my face

This rage that over takes me
is a
monster
over which I have
no
control 
You wonder why I don't 
come around anymore
well
it is for your own
safety
go in your house
lock the
fuckin
door 
Don't let me in
no matter how much I plead
let me bang on 
your door
till
my
hands bleed

Vague and disturbing
just a feeling I feel
from time to time
worm holes in 
my
mind? 

Unconnected
dark reflected
twirling in the shadows 
Everything is just a little
off
if ya know what I mean
memories of seeing things
that I have never seen 
Feeling more than I should feel?
Not trusting myself to decide what is
real 
Laughing and wondering why
it scared me so
to feel out of control
out of 
myself
out 
of 
my
mind

Sleep 
Think of it 
Imagine, visualize 
Slowly rocking you in her black black arms 
Seducing you 
With subtle charms 
Whispering 
Lullaby's 
Deep 
Wistful 
Sighs 
essssssscape........ 
Rock me slowly 
Take me deep within 
Cover me 
Help me shed my skin 
And yet In the end 
I am 
Still only cyn