Into the Void

Like many folks on psych meds, I’m obese. I make no excuses. I hate being fat and I’m doing what I can.

The other weekend I decided to break my diet and have breakfast at a Perkins Pancake House on a Sunday morning with two family members who are also on psych meds for bipolar disorder.

As the three of us were being led back to the table one of the wait staff looked me over then turned and called out to another staff member, “We got three pork chops!”

There is simply no call for Perkins employees to verbally abuse their customers, not even the lard-asses. It was the low spot of the day, and it has totally dimmed my enthusiasm for Perkins restaurants. I most certainly won’t set foot in the Moorestown, NJ restaurant again. Too bad for them, because when I’m there I eat a lot.

Perkins Pancake House obesity bipolar disorder rude waiters bipolar

I’m having a bit of trouble making non-technical things fit into my brain today.
I can understand wanting to be stable. No, not really, stable people are bloody boring. What I can understand is wanting to be able to do the things I want to do without having to cancel because of a bad day. A bad day
meaning I can’t concentrate, or I am indecisive, or I am tired or maybe on the flip side the normies are just moving/thinking/being like dinosaurs.
Let’s define stability sometime, ok? I think stability means that I don’t fall so far afield that I can’t meet my obligations. What do you think?
But are those really bad days? If we didn’t have it beaten into our heads that having moods swings and being creative makes us BAD PEOPLE, we wouldn’t think twice about making time for our own needs. Maybe on the indecisive days I should shelve books by LOC number, while I should make use of the high days time flipping through books trying to synthesize new meanings.
Why do the doctors want to label us and stigmatize us and force us to behave like everyone else? And why do we buy into this abuse? Oh, right, because being forced to be someone you aren’t is painful. When someone talks about “hope” in the context of having a mental illness, what exactly does that mean? There’s no cure for this short of identifying the bipolar gene and ABORTING us. If we are going to hope, let’s hope that someday society will stop wanting to punish anyone who is a little different.

Technorati: stability bipolar bipolar+disorder mental+illness mood+swings stigma